Every Plant

I'm in college, a workout enthusiast, a perfectionist and a Jesus lover. So my morning thoughts usually look like this: 

Morning already? 

Do I have time for the gym? 

Yes, I should if I get up now. 

On 3. 1, 2... no.  

But what if I don't have time for breakfast or a devotional? 

If I don't have time for breakfast, then I may pass out in class.

Then Jacob would have to leave work to come and get me. 

No, can't have that. 

So, breakfast then. 

But what about that homework? 

Ugh. I forgot about that. 

I'll fail for sure. 

I should probably get up now and get started. 

1, 2, yes! 

That's all before getting out of bed. Writing it all out here on the screen makes me think about how ridiculous those thoughts are. So many of us do it though:

Will I have time for...? 

What if my kids don't...? 

How will I handle it if...?

We weren't created for worry. Physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. Today's culture has so normalized being worried and afraid of the unknown when God just says "Stop". We often think about sin as lust or gossip but the truth is, by letting little things like worry take root in our lives we end up choking out the truths God has planted there Himself. We actually put those thoughts before what God says, creating idols. We are consumed with: 

What if I'm not good enough? Instead of "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9)

What if something happens? Instead of "You are not far from the Kingdom of God." (Mark 12:34)

What if I'm not taken care of? Instead of "Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find." (Matthew 7:7)

I say all of this because I am studying a book that is waking me up. It's called "Weeds of the Mind" by Aaron Maners, a pastor in Orlando who came to speak at our church yesterday. In just the first few pages, I'm wrecked forever. He talks about how weeds are sneaky, slow to creep in, and tend to take over. That's exactly what these thoughts have been in my life. I am so concerned with what might happen that I lose sight of what Jesus has already said will happen: 

Victory. 

Purpose. 

Meaning. 

Matthew 15:13 says, "Jesus replied, 'Every plant not planted by my Heavenly Father will be uprooted.'" To me, that means the stuff I've gotten so used to hearing that I believe it. 

What weeds could you identify, isolate and remove from your everyday life to make room for joy today? 

I would love to hear your thoughts about this. Comment below or follow me on Twitter @Smashley355 and Tweet me your experiences with "weeds". 

Being Endorsed

You know those days when your fullest intention is to be this superstar christian and read an entire book of the Bible but instead God just won't let you forget one verse? That verse ends up being so prevalent in your life that you can't seem to not think about it all day long?

Conviction.

That happened to me this morning. I spent at least twenty minutes soaking in Galatians 1:1 (NLT).

I know, right. Of all places to get stuck- the starting line. Here's what the verse says:

"This letter is from Paul, an apostle. I was not appointed by any group of people or any human authority, but by Jesus Christ Himself and by God the Father, who raised Jesus from the dead."

Lately I've been battling lies of the enemy. He tells me no one cares and that I'm not equipped. He reminds me of the hurtful words of others. He sinks his nasty claws into my flesh and doesn't let go.

But I have called you, daughter. You are called and special and filled with purpose. 

God showed me that human endorsement means absolutely nothing when it comes to His calling on my life. Paul had no one on his team when he first started his ministry. In fact, most people-religious people-were out to stop him, on purpose. But Paul had hope in nothing less than Jesus Christ who called him. That endorsement means a thousand times more than any Twitter Followers, Facebook Likes, or books sold. I could write for the rest of my life without one reader and God would still be proud because I did something with His calling on my life.

So will you pray with me today? That we would be a people with a thirst for life in Jesus' name; A people who don't wait for life to happen to us. I'm praying today that we would happen to life.



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Favorites

Wow! Is it really already May? All of a sudden I find myself in my junior year of college, about to turn twenty, living in a condo in the middle of my city. I can walk to get groceries from Publix and a bagel from Panera. Needless to say, my life is becoming my favorite.

You know what I mean? Like I'm no longer (for the most part) concerned with how he's living his life or how she conducts herself because I am me, and my life is my favorite.

But before I get in too deep, here are a few of my other favorites from this past April:

Olan Rogers:

I cannot say enough great things about this guy. He loves Jesus, storytelling, and pizza parties. This particular video is about his paint-balling experiences as a middle schooler. Needless to say, it is one of the most quoted videos in my home.

Packing Light by Allison Vesterfelt: After accepting Jon Acuff's Empty Shelf Challenge, I embarked on a book frenzy of sorts. My 13th read was Packing Light by Allison Vesterfelt and to say I was convicted would be an understatement. Her words about a trip she took across the country challenged me to leave behind unnecessary baggage and "leave my expectations at the door." From now on, I'm packing light.

This:

I dare you not to like this meme. I was at small group last night when my leader started talking about this story about Peter from the Bible. I absolutely could not picture this scenario any other way. I mean, seriously. This is hilarious!

Imaginiff

"Imagine if Christian and Ben were secret agents. Who would be 007?" My small group played this game the other night. Normally, I'm really not one for board games but to avoid being that person in the room that refuses to play, I decided to give it a go. I can honestly say I haven't laughed that hard in a while. Most of the answers were totally bogus, but I feel like if you can't laugh at yourself every once in a while, you are seriously missing out on a whole different realm of joy.





All in all, April has been a pretty great month full of newfound joy in the little things. I feel like God puts these funny things in my life to remind me that He has put me here on this earth to enjoy life. I pray that you get to discover a little bit more of His joy in this coming new month!

Now, what were your favorites from April? I'd love to hear about what God is doing in your life! Feel free to leave me comments :)


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Duty and Destiny

I didn't want to go. I didn't want to go like a five-year-old doesn't want to drink that cough syrup all our moms have made us take at some point. You watch it, tiptoe around it, and maybe she just won't notice. I mean, this cough isn't that bad. I'm sure I'll get over it.

But that's the thing about God. He isn't in the business of bandaids. He calls us to fullness of healing and greater tomorrows. I had a bitter pill to swallow in order to do what I knew in my gut He wanted me to do. So I went.

Scared.

Heartbroken.

Frustrated.

Like a bone, He allowed me to be broken so that I could be set in a familiar place, but in the right way; to heal properly. Can I tell you a secret? Just between us?

It worked.

I fell back into old steps like never before and joy flooded my soul. What I first saw as my duty became a part of my destiny in Christ. I was completely and utterly dependent on Him to form something out of my brokenness and it was beautiful.

You see, sometimes God sends us back into the desert we just came out of with a map. Like, "Okay, you've been here before. Now what can you do differently this time?" Did you know that the Israelites, the ones who wandered in the desert for forty years were actually only a few days' journey from their destination originally? God let them wander so that they would learn to trust Him, wholeheartedly, before leading them straight into the Promised Land.

I say all this to say that God could have offered me the same opportunities in the place I was in. I wouldn't have had to say goodbyes or hurt or deal with the bitterness. But He allowed me to be broken so that I could be set in right standing with a direct map to the Promised Land, more abundant than before. He wanted my duty to become a wonderful destiny, replacing the old memories with new ones. I am thankful for the heartache in the long run. I am. Because God's grace is bigger than me and it always will be.


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The Seder

Thursday night I attended my first "Seder" dinner with my boyfriend and his family. I really wasn't sure how to approach this medium-sized, Marriott Hotel ballroom filled with yarmulkes (traditional Jewish skullcap) and "regular people" at first. All I knew was that this Passover-style dinner mimicked a time in the life of my Savior.

We prayed, worshipped, took parsley flakes dipped in salt water and bitter herbs that would put wasabi to shame. Think I'm kidding? You try eating that mushroom-looking explosion of spices. In my feeble mind, the sheer magnitude of what my on-fire mouth was experiencing alone must have meant Jesus meant business.

We then moved on to enjoying an all Kosher meal that consisted of chicken, vegetables, sweet potatoes. Not my usual cup of tea, but I was determined to soak up every bit of this experience because my Jesus had done something very similar. I had spent a good portion of my morning in prayer, asking God to do something in my heart that I had never experienced before.

Jesus, show me. 

We finished dinner and stood up to worship. The first song was in Hebrew and I was lost. Discouraged, I listened and prayed as Jewish hands went into the air.

Jesus, show me. Please.

The song changed to something I knew in english (I can't even remember the name to be honest) and more hands went into the air. The praise in the room swelled and suddenly I felt my heart would burst.

That's when He showed me. 

"There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male or female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." -Galatians 3:28 (NIV)

Sitting in the back of the room, I saw each and every one of the worshipping hands and heads, capped and uncapped. The loudest and most heartfelt praise I had ever experienced was coming from Jews and Gentiles alike, and that is what He wanted to show me.

Ashley, this is why I died. So that you could worship alongside my other children without shame or condemnation. The church is one body, worldwide. It is the essence of who I am. 

Tears fell. How could I have missed it? He brought me there to show me that people from other churches, Jewish people, pastors I've never met before all worship Him the same way I do. The church is supposed to represent the whole body of Christ, even when we don't recognize His skin tone or traditions or language. Sometimes we lose sight of that in the quest to get people saved and raise attendance numbers to that we "outgrow" our spaces. What God showed me was that we have to be praying for the other churches across our city, country, and world. How would the state of Florida, Alabama, California, Tennessee change if we began praying for the churches we drive past on the way to "ours"? My prayer is that I will see another congregation and not think of them as another "body of Christ" but another part of the same body.

Jesus, change my heart. Let me see them like You would: whole and beloved. 


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Grace

I've written this post a thousand times I think, mulling over grammar style and subject matter and ways that I can convey an idea that bubbles inside my soul. But at the cross, that stuff doesn't matter. When we're faced with the humanity of who we are, only Jesus remains. His soft grace lulls me into a peace I haven't felt in a while.

Jesus, You are beautiful.

I can't help but melt at the vastness of Him, taking me over in all His glory. I think I've forgotten to notice lately. No excuses, just transitions.

Sweet Jesus, thank You. 

I rest in Him and let myself dream. Sometimes I want to be a speaker; sometimes a writer. All the time though, I just want to be heard. A lot has changed in the last few years and joy floods my soul now more than ever, but not without a little fear. Do you think they'll listen? Does what I have to say matter? The answer is that it doesn't. What matters is what Jesus has to say. What matters is who He will touch through my life's "questions".

"Right" I think, and His grace begins to wash over me like sweet perfume. Can you feel it? He's closer than a brother because He's lighting me up from the inside, filling my countenance with love and mercy, just like His. Oh, those wounds are mending. Can you see them? Me neither. They fade in the sight of Jesus and I'm wearing His frames from now on.

A thousand praises to You, God. Hallelujah. I am caught in the current of grace.


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Thursday Morning Laundry

I sit in a small room, taking it all in.

Someone speaks but I do not recognize their words. Instead, I take special notice of the insignificants: the computer a few feet away, a newsletter laden bulletin board, the polish on my shaking toes. It's cold in here and easier to ignore the blows this way. 

I'm bleeding now, but I don't fight back. Something inside of me broke and this is all I can do, sit and listen to my dream deferred. I let each droplet hit the floor as everything else hits the fan and I am reminded:

Grace

When I leave this room, the whole world will tell me I have a right to be upset. When I leave this room, the whole world will tell me I do not have to forgive someone who will never apologize. When I leave this room, the whole world will coddle my wounds and tell me savor them.

Grace

But the whole world is not the benchmark for treating people. Jesus is the minimum for how anybody should be treated because "Ashley, do you remember all that I forgave you of?"

Ouch.

I feel so deflated though and can't seem to get back to where I was. Where did my fire go? I know I love Jesus but my passion is gone. Do they realize what they've done?

Click-Grace
Click-Grace
Click-Grace

Only sound. No sparks.

Six months later I'm doing Thursday morning laundry. It is too mundane and I feel like I should be doing something else. Never enough and now nothing at all.

But maybe that was the point? In light of Jesus, we're all down for the count. What matters is what we do with who we are. Will we let that sin defeat us or use human fallibility to inspire us into God's individual calling on our lives? As lead pastor of Next Level Church Matt Keller puts it, He is the "God of the Underdogs."

So I keep going, keep writing, and keep washing my clothes.

Spark. Flames.

Turns out that dryer lint and grace are highly flammable.


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